Alastair Cook

I had to sit out the world Twenty20 Cup in readiness for the Ashes series because, apparently, I don’t score quickly enough in this aspect of the game of cricket. That’s news to me, considering I hit an 80 off 50-odd balls for Essex the other week, an innings which included my first six in front of square for six years.

True, I struck a six in the West Indies in February, but that was of an off-spinner. This time it was off a seamer and James Foster, my county wicketkeeper who played for England in the Twenty20, reckons one every six years is not a bad ratio. Watch out for my next one – I’ll be 30 years old when it happens.

That six in the West Indies was reported to be my first ever test six, but that wasn’t true, either. I’d hit one in New Zealand the year before, although it was a top edge off Chris Martin that flew over the third man boundary. I was a little disappointed, to be honest, because I’d reached 2,500 runs in test and one day international cricket without striking a maximum, and I only had another thousand runs to score to break the all-time record.

The bottom line is that both and Andrew Strauss and I, who open the innings for England in test matches, are seen as the “Plinkers.” We have plenty of flash boys who like to give the ball a smack, like Ravi Bopara, Kevin Pietersen and Paul Collingwood, but Straussy and I like to take the shine off the new ball for them, and “plink” the ball behind square as much as possible.

My nickname within the England team is “Chef,” which for those who are particularly slow, derives from my surname. I can state quite categorically that I am the best darts player in the team, with Jimmy Anderson second and Steve Harmison, when he’s in the team, third. Jimmy will refute this but he’s very hot and cold and when we had a darts premier league in India last year I topped the table. In one game I checked out with a 148, so there’s no real debate.

Although Graham Gooch, the former Essex and England batsman, is my all-time sporting hero and mentor, I’d like to add Terry “The Bull” Jenkins to that list, and also Colin Lloyd, a darts star born in Chelmsford. I’ve been to the Ally Pally a couple of times to watch the world championships, and also to a couple of Premier League matches and absolutely love the sport and the atmosphere it generates. I got to play against Lloyd in my local pub and took a leg off him a 117 check-out. After that, though, he destroyed me.

I hope I can play as well in the Ashes. My “blip” of getting out in the 30’s to 60’s seems to be over after I scored 160 in the second test against the West Indies in Durham. As blips go it wasn’t the worst blip in history, but it was still very frustrating having done all the hard work to get to that point, only to then repeatedly get out. I didn’t want to admit it at the time, but it became a mental issue for me. You can’t change a game with a 50, but you can with a 150.

I managed to score a double hundred against the Aussies when they were last over here in 2005 and I was playing for Essex. I was 19 at the time, and I passed the 200 mark just after tea on the first day. If that sounds good Mattie Hayden, who said the pitch was like surfing in a swimming pool, then went on to hit 150 before lunch.

Still, it’s a happy memory to take into the Ashes series, especially as I was involved in the 5-0 Ashes defeat two years ago down under. That taught me how they never let up, were totally ruthless in the way they played, and could win tests, as they did in Adelaide, from impossible positions.

This time it’s going to be a lot closer. There’s no such thing as a bad Australian cricket team, but this one comes to England without Shane Warne, Glenn McGrath, Hayden, Justin Langer and Adam Gilchrist, and they’ll take some replacing. It’s going to be a fantastic summer and I’d swap everything I’ve ever achieved in cricket just to hold that urn once.

If that happens there’s no danger of it all going to my head. There are aspects of my life that force my feet to stay on the ground. My girlfriend, for example, is a farmer, and the morning after that 2^nd test win over the Windies in Durham in which I scored that big hundred, I was down on the farm early helping out with the calves.

One of them decided to poo all down my leg. As I stood there, with the contents of a calf’s bowel all over my trousers, I realised that lifting my bat in recognition of passing first 100, and then 150, may have been just a couple of days before, but down on the farm it was a lifetime away. I’ll happily take more crap from a cow if it means I score more tons in the Ashes.

Alastair Cook was supporting the Standard Chartered Great City Race on July 16^th in London.