A Final Farewell for Wonderful Walter

So farewell Walter Smith, one of the nicest and most successful managers in British football history, who yesterday steered Glasgow Rangers to yet another SPL title before bowing out and allowing his cheeky lieutenant Ally McCosit to take over the helm at Ibrox.

Walter will be sorely missed and you will struggle to find anyone in football who can say a bad word against the man. I personally have a great deal to thank the man for. In a moment of rare stupidity he allowed me to join Everton, where he was manager ten years ago, for a week's pre-season training in Tuscany and then to play in the last pre-season friendly of the summer against Manchester City at Goodison Park.

It would become the first chapter in my book, "In Your Dreams." Throughout my time with Everton, Walter proved to be hilarious with his dry wit. When I managed to score the very first goal in the very first training session he turned round to his trusty number two, Archie Know, and said: "I've got £100 million worth of talent out there and he goes and bloody scores."

When he walked into the dressing room before the City game at Goodison and looked at me resplendent in my Everton shirt and socks, he said: "30 years in football and I think I've just make my biggest mistake." And when I was about to run on to the pitch in the 75th minute to replace Francis Jeffers he screamed one last order at me: "If you get hold of the ball, for f***'s sake get rid of it."

So congratulations Walter for everything you have achieved and I owe you an apology: sorry for mucking up our football tennis game and ruining your unbeaten record. It wasn't all down to me, though, my friend!